The game opens with a tutorial mission in which the nameless voiceless faceless commander is rescued from the aliens’ crisper drawer, but I thought the commander was me, the player, the one giving the orders, so when the game goes “the commander’s being held captive in an alien fortress!” I replied, “No, I’m not, I’m sitting on this couch scratching my balls and eating a Zooper Dooper.' Twenty years have passed since the last game, the Earth has come under the control of an oppressive alien regime fronted by a dorky human collaborator, and when the silent protagonist gets released from suspended animation, the resistance can finally get started, because no one was willing to get off their arse and defend themselves without the presence of this one gormless mute.īut enough about the plot of Half-Life 2, let’s talk about XCOM 2 instead.

There’s a new game called XCOM 2 about aliens having already conquered the Earth now we just need a prequel about the aliens getting ready to conquer the Earth, cancelling the newspapers, locking up the house, and putting on their space wellies, and the verb “to conquer” will be fully conjugated! So a couple of years back, there was a game I quite liked called XCOM about aliens in the process of conquering the Earth.

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews XCOM 2.

Xcom 2 demo how long